Love is a fairy tale
by Moltie
Summary: Percy is hurt. And therefore there's a lof of angst. Percy/Nico


_Love hurts._

_It's not like it's any big secret that I've just happened to find out when plunging my tongue down your throat, or that just struck me one of those many, many times we just made out on the bridge in the rain. It's just like that, just as easy as a summer breeze in your hair a hot day in july, as easy as falling like a house of cards in a tornado. _

Everyone knew. It wasn't like those kind of gossip-y talk things that just happened to slip out of someone and that later just spread, it was like it was too big for everyone to not know, and it wouldn't had surprised Percy if it had just been put on the latest bulletin because damn, didn't everyone just keep looking at him as he walked by, not even ashamed by the fact he was very well aware of them looking. Percy was used to people talking, yes. He was even used to being a kind of subject that people just happened to whisper about when they thought he wasn't there, but he wasn't used to being such a public spectacle, like he'd gone and join a circus or turned into a famous rock star over night. Now, it was weird to feel like that. Percy kept his head low as he walked past people, but staying away from them was difficult and not that he wanted to, but hiding when you're supposed to be one of the leaders at camp, was just not an option. It wasn't an option to stay in the cabin and pretend that he wasn't there right now, and he sure as hell couldn't go back to his apartment. Because just thinking about it, was like a knife in the heart, an aching bleeding knife to the chest.

_Love is like being sick._

_It's not like I thought I'd be coming down with something like this, like running with a fever in a marathon, every second of the day feeling like right now, now I will collapse and all my inner organs and legs and whatever else there is that is my body will just give in, give up. Like being sick with need for medicine, medicine being your scent, your warmth, your body, your everything that used to be mine._

When Percy thought that no one was looking he'd just hide away from himself with hands over his face, trying to slowly breathe out the fact that he was so lost to everything, to the world and to himself, that it wasn't anything he could take care of anymore. He was good with fighting, monsters that is, enemies, everything that he could put a sword through and release from this world but this was different, a sick feeling where he'd have nowhere to run, unable to defend himself, like a virus spreading through his body, eating him up from inside. It wasn't anything he'd thought was going to happen and he sure as hell didn't know how to take it back and let things return to the way they used to be, just a longing feeling in his body for something that had been taking away from him, and that he just wanted back, no matter what it would cost him. No matter what he had to do.

_Love is manipulating._

_It's not evil but in a way, there's no better way to describe what it does to you. What you do to me, like the time you had me believe we had to go fix things with the others, when I thought we were in for the fight for our lives and it was just you and me in the dark, when we ended up in the bed for the first time, when your hands went down my chest, down my pants, when your hands where everywhere. When you whispered in my ear how you'd never stop touching me, if I was ready for the ride of my life._

There was a time when Percy had thought he'd want everyone to know because in a way, or not in just one way, but in every way, it was the best thing that had every happened to him, something he wanted the world to find out about, to know about. But that was then and this was now, and even though Percy knew all along that it probably would be a secret to big to be kept, he didn't want the world to know now when it was like this, not when he faced it alone, and more alone than ever. Percy wasn't one to be keen on love, letting people in, trust. He hadn't really been planning to be the one ending up like this, and he hadn't been prepared of the fact that it would all of a sudden be everyone's business what had been going on, and what they had been doing. Percy had always thought that when people would talk, they would talk with jealousy in their voice, jealousy of other people finding happiness, true love, like a fairy tale. Now when he pictured people talking about them, about him, he didn't think they spoke with jealousy hiding in their voices, he believed that it would be more of a happy talk, a I'm-so-happy-I'm-not-Percy-right-now-talk, which wasn't at all what he had been planning. He'd never wanted to be the one being pitied, in secret, not open to the public, but still as clear as a morning sky.

_Love is whatever you want it to be._

_It's not like I thought it was forever but well, yeah, I think I did anyway. When I woke up next to you in bed feeling the bed sheets all sticky after our night when we had each other fully, not just once but maybe twice, three times. When the smell of you lingered in me, when the feeling of you inside me was that close, still remembering every single thing of us. When you leaned over and kissed me fiercely the second you opened your eyes, biting my bottom lip like a tease, mumbling dirty things in my ear. When everything was love, when everything was just about us._

Percy had trouble sleeping. He had trouble staying focused, he had trouble being himself. He had trouble staying on target when every time he close his eyes he remembered the face of his dreams, when he could still feel his body being tired after many love games at night. He had trouble not falling back to just missing, not functioning, when everyone just knew. When everyone knew everything of the sneaky couple. When he would walk into a room and breaking up a conversation, just knowing that the people in that room and just been discussing him. Discussing him and everything that had been going on.

Because everyone sure did know about Percy. Knew all about how Percy had been out at night, sneaking away, missing class and missing practice, missing meetings and putting life on hold for that one person. And people knew all about it. Percy heard them say it again and again, and everywhere he went. About Percy who had been with Nico. Fucking Nico. And had it been love, and why had it ended?

_Love is a fairy tale._

_We'll kill a bad witch, get raped in a tower and turn to foam on the waves. We'll run away from mothers wanting to cut our hearts out and we'll sleep for a hundred years through a life of trouble. We'll wish upon a star about a life for real, and we'll pretend it will all be okay if we just close our eyes and hide. We'll pretend it will all work out and that we will never be alone._

Nico had left. Percy still remembered, how could he not, the day when he'd been woken up by the sun and he'd looked to his left and the dark haired boy wasn't on the pillow next to him. Percy hadn't been worried but he hadn't heard from him. Until a short message later and Nico had left for good, left for the Underworld and whilst Percy wanted a reason, he had gotten none. At first he used to wonder if it was something Nico had to do and if he missed him as much as he was missed. Percy had hoped and wished for the best and that he wasn't one of those fool for loves. But now time just went passing by and Percy couldn't feel more like he was left out. And he couldn't find a reason for his broken heart, no matter how hard he looked.

_Love is a fairy tale. But in the end some of are just hurting._


End file.
